Chapter 49
Table Talk—or Not
I was sitting at the kitchen table Saturday morning totally minding my own business.
I had been gathering bills. I moved on to staring at my “you might have a job next year, maybe not but sit, wait and see” letter from Balboa High School. I was about to return an email from a friend in Austin.
Technically, she wasn’t really a friend. We had never met. But she was willing to help me get my certification for Texas completed if I got all of my paperwork together. That certification could run up to being a six-month process. She promised me that if I walked in with all my sealed-signed transcripts from my seven colleges, that she could get me through it in one day. For three months I had been planning.
I was two weeks away from getting on a plane and flying to Dallas. Well, Jacksonville Florida would be a first stop, a military flight that would be free. Then on to Dallas Texas. That flight was listed for under $100.
From there, I would rent a car until I could buy one. I had left my car with my in-laws. They only carried partial insurance on it. An uninsured beautician totaled it. I told them, no problem. But it was a huge problem. It left me at the mercy of a signed power of attorney from Robert in order to get a car loan. None of this would work without the car loan.
Of course, I had to find a job within a hundred miles of San Antonio.
Robert will understand, or I think he will. Truth be told, I had planned on talking to him today. That explains the kitchen table set up. I had our bills laid out. I had my waffling letter from the high school. I had pay scales for Texas I got off the internet.
I was sure he would agree. We had done it once before, in Germany. Of course, that was mainly because I was seriously considering divorce and that is easier if you don’t live together. There’s been no talk of divorce for two years now.
He just hadn’t realized that was because I had already made a decision.
He should be coming back from his run with Tansy soon. They had been training for marathons.
Ha.
“That’s them now,” I said to myself as I clearly heard voices through the living room floor.
Beneath the living room was the carport and maid’s quarters.
I stored my bike in the maid’s quarters since Flora wasn’t a live-in maid.
If the door to the outside was cracked open, even a little, you could hear every word. It was not currently in that position.
I wasn’t expecting what happened next.
How could I have?
Life had been doing the same thing over and over, why was today going to be any different?
Of course, it’s Panama,
I should have known something was about to change.
My husband remained outside.
It was Tansy who entered my house, without knocking.
“Hi Lee Ann, do you have a minute?”
I looked at the mountain of information laying scattered across my table.
All our bills, my transcripts and recipes I had always wanted to use but I knew I never would because I hated cooking.
“I sure do. Pull up a chair!”
“You’ve always been so nice to me…”
“You are very easy to be nice to Tansy.
I just love little Trevor.
Do you need a baby-sitter again?
I have the weekend free.”
Say yes. Leave with him. Just. Don’t. Talk.
“No, but I do want to say thank you for the way you are with Trevor.
You’ve been a good friend to me, us.”
Stall.
“Oh! Sweet tea! Let me get you something to drink!”
“That’s not neces—”
I side exit straight to the kitchen.
I make as much noise as possible, so she knows I’m digging out the ice.
Think.
Just for a moment… ninety seconds.
Yes, that is the official actual time for a moment, math majors know.
Think.
We cannot talk about an affair before I get on that plane.
He has to believe he got away with it.
Power of Attorney… car loan.
She’s trying to talk to me from the table kitchen table.
I shouted through the doorway.
“Sorry dear, I’ve got the water running, I can’t hear a word!”
I poke my head into the doorway but don’t commit to coming back in yet.
“Would you like lemon?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a sec.”
Keep control of it, Lee Ann.
“Here you go, sweetie.
Here, let me get those things out of our way.”
I move letters across the table.
I can’t think of another reason to stay standing, so I reluctantly sit down, almost touching knees.
“How is Trevor doing? Will I be seeing him any time soon?”
“Like I was saying, you are so good with him and to him.
To both of us.
I feel just awful.”
Crudmuffins.
“Oh honey, please don’t try to pay me again!
Please, we’re family.
I can’t take money for helping you and your husband out with babysitting,
Trevor isn’t even a problem.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!
You are always so nice about everything.”
No. No.
“You don’t deserve any of this.”
No. Do not say it.
I have something I just have to say to you.”
Double crudmuffins!
I pat her hand like she’s an upset teenager.
“Tansy.
Words are like toothpaste.
Once something is out there, it’s nearly impossible to put it back in the tube.”
She looks at me confused.
Mission accomplished.
“This is what we are going to do instead.
Before you make up your mind for sure that we need to talk,
because we’re friends and family,
You’re going to give me two weeks.
Okay? Can you do that for me?”
She looks confused… still.
“That’s fantastic! Now, after two weeks, if you feel there are things you need to say, I’ll sit right here and listen to every word.”
Silence.
I inhale.
“I’ll take that for a yes.
Now, what ever it is, money, baby-sitting…
whatever is bothering you.
If it is still something important two weeks from now, you’ll have time to think through it.”
“For now, I’m getting myself a sweet tea too!”
Over my shoulder I toss out to her,
“When you do go down, outside, can you dig Robert out of the cooler long enough to tell him I have something I want to discuss with him?”
“Ummm… yes, well.
Dear lord. I’ve never even asked this favor from a classroom teacher viewpoint. But, please… just shut her up.
I enter the kitchen.
I hear the front door open, then close.
I go back to the door and silently crack it open.
Every word is coming through as clearly as bells on a clown suit.
“What happened?”
“I have no idea.”
“What do you mean? What did she say to you?”
“She said she’d listen to me in two weeks.”
“What does that mean?”
“How am I supposed to know what that means? I thought you would know!”
“I don’t have any idea.
Tell me exactly what was said.”
I don’t think that order landed like he wanted.
“She said to send you up.
She wants to discuss something with you.”
“Just tell me what was said.”
“I’m leaving now.”
I closed the door softly as he watched her head home, to her family.
Daniel's Den 