Hiding in the bamboo forest frightened me down to my very core.
Nothing had technically happened to me in those thick stalks, yet the entire experience felt like an attack. I had felt completely and utterly vulnerable.
Afterward, the world seemed less safe.
Every shadow looked capable of holding a threat.
The PX wasn’t very crowded that day, and the extra physical space around me felt good. I was riding my bike home when something caught my eye.
Watch the kids on the sidewalk.
They had set up a little cardboard sign.
$6 Panamanian Guard Dogs for Sale
I stopped.
Inside a box was a tiny, scruffy puppy.
“This is not just a puppy,” said the child sitting beside him.
The boy couldn’t have been more than seven or eight, but his eyes were fierce and serious.
“I can tell he’s special,” I said, looking down at the little fur ball.
“He is a ferocious ball of barking attitude.”
Not a hint of shyness.
For the first time in what felt like a while, I smiled.
This kid was good.
“I’ll name him Shadow.”
“You take now; you pay now.”
Business-minded to the end.
I checked my pockets.
I had a ten-dollar bill.
He had no change.
I wasn’t about to walk away without that dog.
I shamelessly used my children to help beg their father into letting us keep the puppy.
The kids thought Shadow was going to belong to them.
I knew better from the beginning.
He was mine.
It didn’t take long for everybody else in the house to figure that out.
For weeks, I slept on the floor beside him while I crate-trained him the hard way. Every night
before bed, I drank large glasses of water so I would naturally wake up every few hours and take him outside to do his business.
Shadow grew quickly.
Somewhere along the way, something changed.
I stopped being the one protecting him.
Shadow decided it was his job to protect me.
By then, Panama had taught me that danger didn’t come wearing any particular uniform.
One afternoon, Shadow and I were out walking when I noticed a man standing at the far end of
the running track.
Every instinct I had flared.
I didn’t trust him.
Maybe he had done absolutely nothing to deserve that reaction.
It didn’t matter.
Not then.
The track was narrow, with barely enough room for Shadow and me.
The man started toward us.
Shadow immediately moved in front of me.
The man’s expression changed the moment he looked at my dog.
“Good dog,” I said.
Loud enough for the stranger to hear.
Shadow held his ground.
I stepped behind him.
The man stopped.
I stopped.
Shadow stopped.
Then Shadow leaned his entire body into a bark.
It didn’t sound like a puppy anymore.
It was sharp.
Deep.
Insistent.
Looking at me, the man probably didn’t see someone capable of controlling a dog like that.
Maybe I wasn’t.
But Shadow didn’t need instructions.
The leather leash in my hand meant something entirely different to him.
It meant I belonged to him.
And he intended to make that perfectly clear.
His lips pulled back over sharp teeth.
A low growl vibrated from somewhere deep in his chest.
He lunged against the leash.
Snap.
Snap.
Snap.
Then silence.
Shadow meant every bit of it.
“Run,” I whispered.
I was talking to Shadow.
The man didn’t know that.
Apparently believing I was about to release my ferocious Panamanian guard dog, he turned around and ran.
“Run!”
Shadow took off down the track.
I ran beside him.
And for once, I wasn’t running because I was afraid.
Most people looked at Shadow and saw a common mutt.
I saw something else.
For six dollars, I had bought back a little piece of safety.